When he asked me to marry him, I said yes, but I was hesitant at best. I never really wanted to get married. I was fully aware how much I had changed year to year in my 20's and how each major life experience shifted my perspective, goals, intentions, etc. Being a child of divorced parents, I also was fully aware of the struggle of being an adult in general. In my mind, the likelihood of growing together as couple and liking our own selves and each other for 50+years seemed utterly absurd.
Yet, I said 'yes'. I knew I loved him and I knew I wanted to be with him.
We followed a predictable path....got married, bought a house, had a baby, bought a house, suffered a loss, had a baby.....etc, etc.
But the backstory is, we've fought, we've cried, I've wondered if I made the right decision (as I am super sure he has too), we've grown apart and we've grown back together, we've struggled in parenting and we've struggled in adulting.
It has been (as Brene Brown would say) a brutiful 17 years (beautiful and at times brutal). I look at this photo we took tonight and I see the wrinkles and the tiredness but I also see the resilience, perseverance, dedication and the work we've done together and on our own. He's an engineer by training and by nature and I sing sanskrit mantras around the house....we are not a match made in heaven, we are a couple who loves each other and are dedicated to do our best to stay aligned and happy.
Here's to 17 years and hopefully many more.